explaining to kids why you just jumped out of a dumpster

Yesterday was like any other day.  After throwing a few boxes of goodies out of a grocery store dumpster, it was time to get myself out.  I came jumping out the side door, keys jangling from the clip on my belt loop, hands stinking of fouled up watermelon, tomato seeds in the seams of my boots.  When I hit the pavement I quickly found out I was being watched.

Looking up at me with big eyes and puzzled expressions, were two children straddling their bicycles, one training wheel on each bike touching the pavement.  Most likely there were streamers coming from the handlebars but I don’t remember that part.  No one else was around.

“Why you in the gahbawg?”

“I’m getting food for my pigs.”

“You pigs eat gahbawg?  That’s gross.”

“Naw, they like to eat this stuff.  It isn’t really garbage; I’m just trying to help them out.”

“How big you pig?”

“About this big…” I approximated the length and width of the pigs with my arms.

“Oh…and they eat gahbawg.“

I had quick thoughts of what it might look like if the parents of these kids came around the corner to see some guy with mud on his pants standing next to a dumpster talking about how big his pigs were.  And the truck was still running.

Nice to meet you kids, but it’s time for me to go.  Hope you learned something?